Tosh Patterson
Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Hi, I’m Tosh (she/her)—a Bodysex facilitator, pleasure coach, and sound healer based in Playa del Carmen, Mexico (45 minutes from Cancun).
I help women reclaim their bodies, reconnect with pleasure, and feel at home in their skin again. I offer one-on-one Bodysex sessions (online and in person), Bodysex workshops (group circles), and sound healing to support deeper safety and embodiment. All vulva-bodied folks are welcome in my space; I also curate intentional circles for women of color.
After a 20-year career in higher education, I left burnout behind, started my coaching business, and moved to the coast of Mexico, where I now enjoy beach walks, fresh mangos, and ease and joy.
My journey includes sexual trauma, cultural repression, body shame, and years of trying to “fix” myself through books and therapy. Some things helped—but nothing brought me home to my body the way Bodysex did.
I found Bodysex in 2014, but it took me five years to say yes. It took time, courage, and a few false starts—but once I finally sat in that circle, I knew: this is the missing piece in my healing. Sitting in the circle, nude, was one of the most honest, healing, and liberating experiences I’d ever had. Bodysex was the piece that helped me feel what I had only understood intellectually: that healing lives in the body. I walked away knowing without question that my body belongs to me and that pleasure is how to reclaim my power.
Now? My sex life is juicy. And I feel confident in my plus-size body. I happily teach what I know—things we, as women, should’ve learned in high school about our bodies, our pleasure, and our power.
My work is about more than orgasm (though yes, I help women have more of those too). It’s about releasing shame, softening into body safety, and rewriting the story that says we must perform for love or hide our desire. It’s about teaching that pleasure and sexual satisfaction aren’t things to earn but, instead, are fundamental birthrights.
If you’re carrying trauma—yours or inherited—you’re not broken. You’re not too late. And you’re definitely not alone.
You can have a satisfying sex life! Whether you join me in a group circle or one-on-one, I’ll meet you where you are and walk with you as you remember and reclaim what’s always been yours. If you’re curious about working together, I’d love to chat – just grab time on my calendar.
Email: toshpatterson@gmail.com
Website: toshpatterson.com
Read Articles by Tosh
The Moment I Discovered My Real Orgasm Sound
What does a real orgasm sound like? My personal story about discovering the difference between authentic pleasure sounds and what porn has taught us to expect. The Moment I Discovered My Real Orgasm Sound His head was between my legs. “That’s it. That’s the sound I’ve...
How My Sexual Preferences Changed in My 20s, 30s and 40s
Do sexual preferences change with age? Absolutely, and mine are proof. This is how my sexual desires evolved decade by decade. Discovering My Sexual Preferences Sexual preferences aren’t fixed. I notice how mine shifted with time, partners, body changes, and life...
The BEST Sex Advice Betty Shared
I never met Betty Dodson, but she became my mentor over the years. When she was 80 years old, she shared a tip I'd never heard: use almond oil to lubricate your hands, nipples, AND vulva before self-pleasure. Fast forward a few days, and I finally have some alone...
Busy and Disconnected from My Body
This is the most embarrassing story. And maybe even a little TMI (too much info) but if you stick with me there’s a point. Rewind to 2010. My days were fast-paced. At that time, my to-do list was never-ending. I’d earned two promotions at work so I was part of the...
My Self-Love Aroma
I watched him smell his left fingers. He slowly sniffed the middle two. "Smell," he said. I held his hand and sniffed his middle fingers. The aroma smelled familiar, but I could not place it. "What is it?" I asked. "You," he said. "I can smell you 1-2 days after...
My Story from the NO HAIR Battlefield
I’ve always been perplexed by the fact that my body is covered in hair, but to be considered a desirable and feminine woman I should not have any hair on my face, armpits, legs, or vulva. And to top it off, I shouldn’t have hair on my butt either now that I live in a...
My Body. My Orgasm.
Each Bodysex Circle starts with a ritual where every woman openly answers the questions, "how do you feel about your body?" and "how do you feel about your orgasm?" Before stepping into the Bodysex sisterhood, I never consciously thought about how I feel about my body...
Anything I Do to Any Part of My Body will be Done Solely for MY PLEASURE
I am training to become a Bodsex Leader. This summer I attended the Bodysex workshop, as an assistant, to complete part of the certification process. Before arriving at the workshop, I had a serious case of nerves about maneuvering around my large goddess belly while...