Articles
Read articles and blog posts written by Betty Dodson, Carlin Ross, Bodysex Facilitators, and guest writers
I’m Not Motivated by Feelings of Sexual Desire
I rarely feel aroused these days. The barrage of sexual violence – the continual gaslighting – the deliberate denial of women’s healthcare. It’s exhausting. Every time Congress votes on the SAVE Act my vagina goes dry and my clit shrivels. Despite all of this, I...
Masturbation: A Good Habit
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been touching my vulva and feeling pleasure. My true masturbation practice began when I was around thirteen. Although I don’t specifically remember my first orgasm, I’m sure that’s when I started to masturbate regularly, usually...
The Gift of “Me Time”
Bodysex reminded me of how significant masturbation is and what it means to stay intimate with my own body. As a married and sexually active woman, I still enjoy that self love and attention. Over the past decade or so, we’ve witnessed an increase in societal...
Practice for Exploration and Discovery
I was careening down the highway in my Sprinter van, headed to a shamanic retreat, my vibrator on a low setting, pressing through my jeans. It’s not what I usually think of as practice, but given that I orgasmed and then went at it again fifteen or so minutes later, I...
It’s Not Really About Finding the Time
When I say I don’t have time to masturbate, what I usually mean is that I didn’t prioritize it. Whether I prioritize it depends entirely on what I believe those fifteen minutes are worth. My everyday life looks like a lot of women’s. I’m a mother, I’m home with my...
Envy Undermined My Relationships
“Everything for you is effortless”, he snarled as I feverishly typed the last paragraph of my history paper due the next morning. Effortless? Did he not see the sweat on my upper lip or that I was wearing my waitress uniform trying to finish before a dinner shift?...
How I Learned That Women Compete for Men
“You are no competition for me,” she said. “He was mine first. It’s not fair!” I screamed in rage. “All is fair in love and war,” she replied. We were arguing over Fred. Her words stabbed me in my heart. I was 14, He was 18. The other woman was 38 – and my mother. It...
First Moon Ceremony
I knew before I knew. Not because she said anything. Not because there were signs anyone else would notice. But somewhere in me, there was the same quiet instinct I’d had felt before birth. A gathering. A preparing. I found myself buying candles, choosing little...
Distance
This blog post was really hard for me to write but here goes nothing, or everything rather. I still struggle with competition and envy between women, but for me it often shows up less like jealousy and more like disconnection. When a woman feels “put together”, I...
What Envy Taught Me
I have envied all my life. Wanting all the things other people had that I believed would somehow make me more worthy, more lovable, more enough. Thinner.Braver.Stronger.Powerful.Articulate.Athletic.Patient.Better at sports, golf, business, conversation, life. I spent...
Spring Bodysex Retreat
Leading my spring Bodysex retreat was easeful and sweet. Not on purpose, I’ve ended up with a hot pink, gray, and yellow color theme which makes the space feel rather dreamy. Here are some of my takeaways from the weekend. Participating in a Bodysex Retreat is an...
Happy to be a Childless Mother
I hold a lot of mothering energy within me. I tend to be a caregiver; nurturing, and supportive while still being able to take charge and make things happen. I don’t know if I naturally hold big mom energy or if I was encouraged to develop it. Both of my parents...
Motherhood Chose Me
I knew I’d become a mother later in life. It’s probably why I never thought about fertility or finding the right partner. If I was going to finish law school and establish a career, then I had to put my personal life on the back burner. Delaying motherhood felt right...
Conscious Motherhood
I never wanted to be a mother. I felt that way since I was a little girl. Perhaps this was related to my childhood and having many siblings from my parents’ marriages. Marriage and childhood weren’t a choice for my grandmothers, and I watched how this affected them....
When No One Protected You: Making Motherhood Decisions After Trauma
When childhood trauma shapes your relationship to safety, motherhood decisions become infinitely complex. This is my journey through fertility struggles, and learning to trust my body’s wisdom about whether I was ready to become the protector I never had. Can I trust...
I Can Mother Myself
The way my whole body softened at the idea was like liquid warmth. “How lucky you are to be such an amazing mom, you already know how to care for yourself, the exact same way you’ve been caring for your kids.” One of my best friends told me this after coming out of a...
Parenthood
Part One: Becoming Parents “Do you get to choose how many kids you have?” my 7 year old niece asked me last week. “Sometimes,” I replied. She cocked her head at me. “I wanted 2 daughters, I had one, and I ended up with none,” I said. Her mouth fell open. ...
The Wise Auntie: Celebrating Childfree Life
Mine is a childfree life… Over time I’ve come to realise that the idea of having children was driven by the societal norm of my era… it was never a desire I had… it was just what I was supposed to do in my 20s. Get married, have kids. In my 20s and early 30s I thought...
Becoming a Woman Meant My Body was Not My Own – That my Body could make Good Men do Bad Things
I was raised in a Christian Fundamentalist family. We didn’t go to school. We didn’t own a television. Growing up every piece of clothing I ever wore came out of a goodwill bag except for my Easter dress. Easter was the most holy holiday when Jesus resurrected from...
My First Sexual Experience Was Assault
I resisted writing about the topic of nonconsensual touch. I’ve learned that whenever I experience resistance, it’s something that I need to explore. So here I am, about to share a memory that I haven’t talked about much. I grew up in the Ohio countryside, surrounded...
Mapping the Nerves of the Internal Clitoris
Recently, Dr. Ju Young Lee built upon the research of Dr. Helen O'Connell and created a complete 3D mapping of the nerves of the clitoris. What they found was extraordinary. There are several complex tree-like branching nerves that innervate the mons pubis, clitoral...
My Body is Mine
Non-consensual touch started young for me. I had to kiss or hug my uncles and aunties when I saw them… and, because ‘she meant well’ and ‘it’s how she is’, it was okay for my Italian neighbour to pinch my cheeks – hard! Fortunately for me, while those things were...
My Body Knew The Whole Time
I knew when I was three. My mom always told me that if anyone ever asked to see or touch my body to tell her immediately. Always come and tell. When I was three years old we lived with my parents friend who had teenage boys. They were babysitting me, and they brought...
Saying No Counts
Why do some women struggle to say no to unwanted touch? My reflections on a lifetime of boundary violations – from forced childhood hugs to ignored sexual boundaries – and how early experiences teach us our bodies aren’t our own. If you’ve ever felt unable to protect...