Articles
Read articles and blog posts written by Betty Dodson, Carlin Ross, Bodysex Facilitators, and guest writers
I Let the Orgasm Come to Me
I’ve always been orgasmic. My parents didn’t get the memo that I should be discouraged from touching my vulva as a child. I remember exploring my genitals as a preschooler. It felt good. When hormones brought me orgasms at puberty, I masturbated multiple times a day....
I Can Trust in Bodysex
“Bodysex is a labor of love”, I remind myself while packing my suitcase - my phone set to a live FAA airport tracker. There’s nothing like having 12 women, including myself, flying in from all over the world during a government shutdown. I felt my jaw tightening and...
My Experience with Orgasm
I’ve been orgasmic since a young age. Before I knew what was happening in my body. Luckily, I had parents who were sex positive and never shamed me for touching myself. Young kids are caught touching themselves, and for young girls, this often is their first...
The Moment I Discovered My Real Orgasm Sound
What does a real orgasm sound like? My personal story about discovering the difference between authentic pleasure sounds and what porn has taught us to expect. The Moment I Discovered My Real Orgasm Sound His head was between my legs. “That’s it. That’s the sound I’ve...
Pleasure is No Longer a Secret
I am my own religion. That didn’t come from faith; it came from exhaustion — from learning that no god was coming to protect me. I grew up in a country that confuses discipline with dignity, silence with virtue. I learned too soon what violence can do to a child’s...
My Preferences
Choosing the Discernment of Verisimilitude Over Nescience By Way of Preferences They weren’t a bad lay, but we were quite mismatched in terms of a lasting relationship. We were fucking one night a month or so into discovering this about each other and then, rather...
Bodysex is My Preference
When you devote your career to sexuality, most people want to know: what was your top sexual experience? And they think that you’re going to describe an orgy or threesome or international sex party. I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed those experiences; I think...
I Finally Gave Myself Permission
For many years, I didn’t even consider that I had preferences for anything. “Where do you want to go for lunch?” “Anywhere is fine with me” was always my pat response. I found a way to like – or maybe a better word is accept – most anything. I accommodated the...
My Preference is to say “No”
I have long struggled with how to say no. My sexual preferences in my 20s were loosely defined and dependent on the partners I had during that phase of my life. I would try anything once, and there was no absolute limit on what I would do if I liked a person enough....
How My Sexual Preferences Changed in My 20s, 30s and 40s
Do sexual preferences change with age? Absolutely, and mine are proof. This is how my sexual desires evolved decade by decade. Discovering My Sexual Preferences Sexual preferences aren’t fixed. I notice how mine shifted with time, partners, body changes, and life...
Furious to Curious
It starts in my face, tension, clench and contraction. Unrelenting, trapped in my eyebrows and my pursed lips. I take a deep breath and try to soften even a little. Maybe it’s left over frustration from something earlier in the day. I go back to massaging my vulva,...
Orgasms Aren’t One Way
Once safely out of the driveway, I unbuttoned my pants, grabbed the vibe from the passenger seat where I’d tossed it as I’d gotten into the car, and clicked it on. It felt good over my jeans. Driving masturbation is a delicate balance between your inner eyes settling...
The Work of Arousal: Learning to Stay with Myself
“Arousal” I hear the word and instantly I have parts of me blaring inside. These parts bounce around my mind, confused, looking for clues in the crevices of my brain, ruffling through old memories of things that were logged as turn ons at some point. It’s almost like...
My Arousal
I love feeling sexually aroused. My vulva feels warm and tingly. My breath and heartbeat quicken. My senses are alert.The sun shines brighter.Every aroma smells robust,My skin welcomes every touch.Foods taste delicious. I feel alive. Arousal isn’t a necessarily a...
Bodysex Is A Healing Force
As I packed my bags for our upcoming workshop, there was a certain heaviness that I couldn’t shake. Usually, I feel excited to meet the women and get a change in scenery. However, our new normal is crisis and chaos - unknown actors and undefinable risk. How would it...
Anger Has a Purpose
I find my power when I’m angry I saw him enter the building, walking past signs that read: Do not enter. Private event for women only. “Get out! No!” I shouted as I propelled toward him, pushing him with the energy from my body. Now I imagine myself in that moment as...
We Are the Fucking Sky
I started to experience overwhelming waves of rage upon the repeal of Roe v Wade. What made things worse was that no one seemed phased in the slightest. Deny women healthcare -after 50 years of clear precedent - just another day in America. There were no...
Anger is a Messenger
Anger is a destroyer of demons that obstruct your growth and happiness. Anger is a feeling that erupts sometimes as if out of nowhere.The boiling, bubbling tension just waiting to be triggered.It’s loud, it’s intimidating, even a nuisance.You should be ashamed to...
Anger and Our Wild Selves
“Betty used to say, ‘Women need to get in touch with their anger and they need to do it all the time,’” Carlin said as the group of us discussed this month’s blog topic over zoom. “Pleasure connects us to our anger,” said one writer. “I actually have a really hard...
My Anger Experience
Photo: A wood burning I made to remind myself to let my Heart unfurl and feel it all A couple of years ago, one of my best friends had her I.U.D. removed. Notoriously, I.U.D. insertion is painful and traumatizing. The cramps from insertion mimic labor contractions....
Ready to Pop
Right now, anger swells inside me like a balloon about to pop. But it doesn’t. Instead, it simmers just beneath the surface of my skin, perfectly expanding into every space of my being, yet so neatly confined. This anger—buried beneath sadness, or perhaps the sadness...
Carlin’s Bodysex Research
Covid lockdown happened on the heels of our Goop episode. We'd received thousands of emails - our workshops were booked with wait lists - then everything went dark. Betty was dying and I was making healthcare decisions over the phone. With a broken heart, I put...
My Menopause Story
I’ve been taking hormone replacement therapy for nearly 30 years. It’s improved my quality of life and physical health. I wouldn’t want to live without it. At age 37, my periods stopped abruptly. I would awaken at night, hot and drenched in sweat. These episodes...
Womanhood in a Broken System
When I was 17 I decided I was ready to have penetrative sex with my then boyfriend. I went to planned parenthood with my mom and they put me on the pill. I gave it a good try for a few months and the mood swings were not working for me. I went back in, told them and...