Articles
Read articles and blog posts written by Betty Dodson, Carlin Ross, Bodysex Facilitators, and guest writers
Pay Attention and Trust My Body
During Covid, Carlin brought together a group of Bodysex women for a weekly Erotic Recess on Zoom. Joining sex-positive women from around the world to experience pleasure together was a lifeline during that time of uncertainty. I could always count on the women in...
Connecting and Reconnecting To Self
It was a wild spring and summer I tell you. And I am quite a different person now. I completed two long-term life goals, one took ten years, the other seven. I finished and then presented my thesis to a generous panel of shamanic teachers and community members. I...
My Body, My Orgasms, and Keeping My Light Alive
I get crabby sometimes. Really crabby. There, I said it! I can feel myself becoming impatient, irritated, and just not quite myself. My light starts to dim, and I don't like that feeling. Over time, I've discovered something about myself that I wish more women felt...
“Whatever You Are Doing, Keep Doing It”
I was disconnected from my body and orgasm for many years in my adult life. I knew what an orgasm felt like but had forgotten its significance. As a single mother with sole custody and no financial support, life became about surviving and certainly nothing about...
A Different Kind of Intimacy
If someone had asked me about my masturbation practice years ago, I would have had a very different answer. Today, the first thing that comes to mind is stillness. I live with post-traumatic stress disorder, and over the past few years my libido has almost...
Reconnecting with My Body and Orgasm
When did I feel disconnected from my body and/or orgasm? Most of my life. I was kidnapped by a man the summer before my 21st birthday. I had performed that evening at a dinner theater and the deranged middle aged rapist actually believed that I was in real life the...
I’m Not Motivated by Feelings of Sexual Desire
I rarely feel aroused these days. The barrage of sexual violence – the continual gaslighting – the deliberate denial of women’s healthcare. It’s exhausting. Every time Congress votes on the SAVE Act my vagina goes dry and my clit shrivels. Despite all of this, I...
Masturbation: A Good Habit
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been touching my vulva and feeling pleasure. My true masturbation practice began when I was around thirteen. Although I don’t specifically remember my first orgasm, I’m sure that’s when I started to masturbate regularly, usually...
The Gift of “Me Time”
Bodysex reminded me of how significant masturbation is and what it means to stay intimate with my own body. As a married and sexually active woman, I still enjoy that self love and attention. Over the past decade or so, we’ve witnessed an increase in societal...
Practice for Exploration and Discovery
I was careening down the highway in my Sprinter van, headed to a shamanic retreat, my vibrator on a low setting, pressing through my jeans. It’s not what I usually think of as practice, but given that I orgasmed and then went at it again fifteen or so minutes later, I...
It’s Not Really About Finding the Time
When I say I don’t have time to masturbate, what I usually mean is that I didn’t prioritize it. Whether I prioritize it depends entirely on what I believe those fifteen minutes are worth. My everyday life looks like a lot of women’s. I’m a mother, I’m home with my...
Envy Undermined My Relationships
“Everything for you is effortless”, he snarled as I feverishly typed the last paragraph of my history paper due the next morning. Effortless? Did he not see the sweat on my upper lip or that I was wearing my waitress uniform trying to finish before a dinner shift?...
How I Learned That Women Compete for Men
“You are no competition for me,” she said. “He was mine first. It’s not fair!” I screamed in rage. “All is fair in love and war,” she replied. We were arguing over Fred. Her words stabbed me in my heart. I was 14, He was 18. The other woman was 38 – and my mother. It...
First Moon Ceremony
I knew before I knew. Not because she said anything. Not because there were signs anyone else would notice. But somewhere in me, there was the same quiet instinct I’d had felt before birth. A gathering. A preparing. I found myself buying candles, choosing little...
Distance
This blog post was really hard for me to write but here goes nothing, or everything rather. I still struggle with competition and envy between women, but for me it often shows up less like jealousy and more like disconnection. When a woman feels “put together”, I...
What Envy Taught Me
I have envied all my life. Wanting all the things other people had that I believed would somehow make me more worthy, more lovable, more enough. Thinner.Braver.Stronger.Powerful.Articulate.Athletic.Patient.Better at sports, golf, business, conversation, life. I spent...
Spring Bodysex Retreat
Leading my spring Bodysex retreat was easeful and sweet. Not on purpose, I’ve ended up with a hot pink, gray, and yellow color theme which makes the space feel rather dreamy. Here are some of my takeaways from the weekend. Participating in a Bodysex Retreat is an...
Happy to be a Childless Mother
I hold a lot of mothering energy within me. I tend to be a caregiver; nurturing, and supportive while still being able to take charge and make things happen. I don’t know if I naturally hold big mom energy or if I was encouraged to develop it. Both of my parents...
Motherhood Chose Me
I knew I’d become a mother later in life. It’s probably why I never thought about fertility or finding the right partner. If I was going to finish law school and establish a career, then I had to put my personal life on the back burner. Delaying motherhood felt right...
Conscious Motherhood
I never wanted to be a mother. I felt that way since I was a little girl. Perhaps this was related to my childhood and having many siblings from my parents’ marriages. Marriage and childhood weren’t a choice for my grandmothers, and I watched how this affected them....
When No One Protected You: Making Motherhood Decisions After Trauma
When childhood trauma shapes your relationship to safety, motherhood decisions become infinitely complex. This is my journey through fertility struggles, and learning to trust my body’s wisdom about whether I was ready to become the protector I never had. Can I trust...
I Can Mother Myself
The way my whole body softened at the idea was like liquid warmth. “How lucky you are to be such an amazing mom, you already know how to care for yourself, the exact same way you’ve been caring for your kids.” One of my best friends told me this after coming out of a...
Parenthood
Part One: Becoming Parents “Do you get to choose how many kids you have?” my 7 year old niece asked me last week. “Sometimes,” I replied. She cocked her head at me. “I wanted 2 daughters, I had one, and I ended up with none,” I said. Her mouth fell open. ...
The Wise Auntie: Celebrating Childfree Life
Mine is a childfree life… Over time I’ve come to realise that the idea of having children was driven by the societal norm of my era… it was never a desire I had… it was just what I was supposed to do in my 20s. Get married, have kids. In my 20s and early 30s I thought...