Pleasure is No Longer a Secret

Pleasure is No Longer a Secret

I am my own religion. That didn’t come from faith; it came from exhaustion — from learning that no god was coming to protect me. I grew up in a country that confuses discipline with dignity, silence with virtue. I learned too soon what violence can do to a child’s...
My Preferences

My Preferences

Choosing the Discernment of Verisimilitude Over Nescience By Way of Preferences They weren’t a bad lay, but we were quite mismatched in terms of a lasting relationship. We were fucking one night a month or so into discovering this about each other and then, rather...
Bodysex is My Preference

Bodysex is My Preference

When you devote your career to sexuality, most people want to know: what was your top sexual experience? And they think that you’re going to describe an orgy or threesome or international sex party. I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed those experiences; I think...
I Finally Gave Myself Permission

I Finally Gave Myself Permission

For many years, I didn’t even consider that I had preferences for anything. “Where do you want to go for lunch?” “Anywhere is fine with me” was always my pat response. I found a way to like – or maybe a better word is accept – most anything. I accommodated the...
My Preference is to say “No”

My Preference is to say “No”

I have long struggled with how to say no. My sexual preferences in my 20s were loosely defined and dependent on the partners I had during that phase of my life. I would try anything once, and there was no absolute limit on what I would do if I liked a person enough....
How My Sexual Preferences Changed in My 20s, 30s and 40s

How My Sexual Preferences Changed in My 20s, 30s and 40s

Do sexual preferences change with age? Absolutely, and mine are proof. This is how my sexual desires evolved decade by decade. Discovering My Sexual Preferences Sexual preferences aren’t fixed. I notice how mine shifted with time, partners, body changes, and life...