When you devote your career to sexuality, most people want to know: what was your top sexual experience? And they think that you’re going to describe an orgy or threesome or international sex party. I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed those experiences; I think they’re a rite of passage – a place we start – on our journey to sexual enlightenment.

 

Ultimately, it’s the quiet moments of connection with complete strangers that roll through my mind and fill my soul. It’s Bodysex. That is my preference.

 

I love not knowing who will join us in the circle. We do all our enrollment over email. We don’t ask any personal questions. There is no vetting. Any woman with the courage to be nude in the circle, display her vulva and practice the rock n roll is welcome. That challenge attracts the most exceptional women from across the globe. The mix of cultures, ethnicities, ages, and wealth of experience engages my mind and my spirit. Women are the most captivating and inspiring beings on this planet. Whatever befalls us, we get up and keep on going.

 

Then there’s the diversity of background but singularity of experience that astounds me. When we answer “how do I feel about my body and how do I feel about my orgasm” I hear my experience echoed in the stories of each woman in that circle. In less than an hour, we’re released from self-blame and understand the how and why of our struggle. This depth of healing and liberation of spirit happens in every circle…every time…with Betty over the course of 13 years and again in the circles I lead with Laura.

 

Sprinkle on top of this the complete bonding that happens between the women during genital show and tell. There is never a critical word; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. As the women witness each other’s vulva, it’s all wonder and compliments. And there can be tense, emotional moments – break downs and break throughs – but we get through it together.  Betty always said that, during genital show and tell, the women were “there for each other”. And they are…every single circle.

 

Finally, there’s the reframing of pleasure during erotic recess. I love leading the women through Betty’s rock n roll technique – showing them how to massage their vulvas, warm up with a vibe, practice slow penetration and connect with their preference. There are so many ways to stimulate your body and each woman is different. It’s wonderful to have the time and space to explore our bodies – not in the dark with a partner but in the light of day – supported by each other. There is such joy in sharing pleasure with friends with guides to illuminate our path.

 

I think about Betty and how these moments kept her healthy till 91. She smoked and drank and loved a good steak – she never denied herself pleasure. It’s almost like she pushed a reset button every time she led a circle. It was the secret to her longevity. Research confirms that the more women spend time together – the larger the group – the longer they live. Bodysex  truly was Betty’s Sistine chapel.

 

We’re leading a workshop this November 8/9 in Cleveland, Ohio. It will be our last workshop for 2025. I hope to see you in the circle.