Menopause is a Life Process not a medical condition. And it’s not something that’s unfortunately wrong with 51% of the human population and toothed whales. I’m still learning how to menopause in a good way. The last four years have been the hardest health years of my life (I’ve written about this in my other menopause piece on hemorrhaging). The empowerment story I’m weaving is that youth and hormones were masking underlying imbalances in my system and my menopause process is now shining a light on them so that my Second Spring will be joyful and wisdom-generating. Second Spring is what Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) calls menopause, and isn’t that just a wonderful name.

We don’t have to invent new systems of medicine in order for balance, wholeness, and connection with our environment to be part of our well-being because they already exist. And they are in fact exceptional at treating things that baffle Western Medicine, which is an ad hoc system of profit and industry with misogyny baked into its core. One big difference between complete systems of medicine (like Ayurveda and TCM) and the Western model of symptom suppression and surgery, is that our bodily complexity is a feature not a bug. TCM is more accessible than Ayurveda where I live so that’s the system I’m working within. Also, there are beautiful benefits to the allopathic system, like hormone treatment, IUDs, trans care, gender affirming surgery, bunionectomies, heart valve, knee, and hip replacements, etc. and it’s amazing we have these options. But when the problem involves the entire system needing to be brought into balance, the Western model just isn’t designed for this, and falls short on treatment, and can even stack additional problems onto the original issue. 

I’ve been working with an amazing new acupuncturist at my local community acupuncture clinic in Seattle.

“During the energy expensive menopause transition,” my acupuncturist said, “you can lose yin and access to your ability to connect with and cultivate it.” A light went off inside me. Yin deficiency, of course. I don’t know why I hadn’t gotten there on my own, perhaps it was the hormonal brain fog. Because the changes of menopause are big, the energy it’s been taking had diminished my already wispy stores of yin. I’ve started doing weekly acupuncture and taking some Chinese herb blends (listed in my resource piece), and almost immediately I felt restored, energized, and back to a version of myself I recognize. The typical menopause symptoms of hot flashes, dry crusty boogers, joint pain, and sleep disturbances significantly diminished or stopped altogether in a matter of days. The obnoxious squirrel running amuck in my brain at night trying to convince me that I’m unloveable and that my life has been pointless has stopped. The hopelessness and depression so characteristic of yin depletion have stopped. 

A Dash of Philosophy: 

Let’s pan way out and take an eagle’s eye view of life energy for a sec. 

Everything is energy and can be thought of as two different qualities in relationship with each other. Let’s call those qualities yin and yang (pronounced “yong”). The tango between these two legendary lovers creates the marvelous, mutable, and manifest world in which we live.  

Super Duper Important Note: Yin is not feminine and yang is not masculine; and people with vulvas aren’t more yin and people with penises aren’t more yang. We are all, all of it. “Feminine” and “masculine” are false constructs invented by colonialism and capitalism to get us to play our respective rolls as good little cogs of production and profit. Forcing the false constructs of masculine and feminine onto these qualities of energy is simply inaccurate when describing them. Further, jamming humans into these binaries is also inaccurate and I have a lot more to say about this but not right now. Though exceptionally pervasive, I invite you to drop the constructs of feminine and masculine, even just for the remainder of this post. 

The yin aspect of energy is what allows us to be able to be in solitude, to nourish and be nourished. Some of its other qualities are: groundedness, connectedness, accountability, dependability, restoration, emotional well-being, deep feeling, and integrity. Yin qualities are those which draw their power from stillness and darkness. 

Yang is the opposite. The yang aspect of energy is what allows us to be able to express and play. Some of its other qualities are generosity, blessing, creativity, completion, excellence, devotion, protection, benevolence, and joy. Yang qualities are those which draw their power from movement and light. 

Without each other they die. Yang will produce and express itself to death and yin will sink and stagnate itself to death. Yin and yang’s dance is one of complimentary dualism versus antagonistic dualism. They oscillate and spin in deep connection with each another, mingling and playing, and we enjoy that as our own holistic bodily health and the health of the world in which we live. 

Another important Note: Modern culture is one that worships yang and has been trying to extinguish yin for thousands of years. Our culture values productivity and extraction above all else, which is excess and false yang. Many of us can feel this exhausting imbalance and are using our skills in our respective fields to restore balance. An interesting thought experiment is to think of what would change in our individual lives and what would change in the world if we sought a balance between yin and yang. 

That’s it for our philosophy moment. Thank you eagle for your 20,000 foot view.

Initially, I was trying to emulate Betty and entertain the hot flashes as orgasmic opportunities but man, they suck. They would come on and I was gasping for relief instead of putting my hands down my pants, wondering how on Earth Betty experienced them if she was able to masturbate during one. Did she experience the panic and need for relief and respond by stripping off all her clothes? For me, everything from an emotion to sleeping, to being next to someone one degree warmer than me would bring one on. Thankfully the herbs and acupuncture have stopped the hot flashes and I’m grateful for the reprieve. 

As I make the journey towards my Second Spring, orienting from this phase of life as an opportunity, I’ve been fortifying my discernment and desires, so that summer, autumn, and finally winter will be magnificent. I’m sifting through the misogyny, myths, and misinformation as best I can, then leaning in where I sense empowerment. 

For the second half of my life I want hormone replacement and balancing herbs and I want to fuck like never before. I want a ceremony and probably a velvet cloak once I officially cross the threshold. I want the respect and awe that comes with crone status. Like a grandmother Orca, for whom the health of her pod depends on her experience and contribution, I want to take the wisdom of the first half of my life and shape it into something beautiful and useful, to actually become and embody the unshakeable crone, capable of wielding their wit and experience for the good of their people and the world. 

I’ve written two other pieces on what’s helped me during this journey so far. Please follow the links below to read them:

Menopause Resources

Hemorrhaging

Photo by Dimmis Vart on Unsplash

Lincoln is currently in training as a Bodysex Coach. 

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