And where does it begin and where does it end?
Sex is the big heading and my experience of sex are all the subtitles underneath it. Never-ending and ever-changing.
Sex is a topic for most of us, no matter if we have it or not. We grow up without being taught much about it. We are somewhat left alone to figure it out all by ourselves. Most of us share similar stories that as we were growing up our families, friends people in our lives all did not tell us a great lot about s-e-x, although we knew from very early on about „IT“ being everywhere.
I was lucky. I come from a sex-positive family. That means my dad and my mum had sex and talked about sex, either if the topic came up when I discovered a jelly-whitish liquid sticking to my mothers leg and when my dad made dirty jokes. Everyones nudity was welcome at home. I knew both of my parents dressed and naked and there was no difference made.
We all have bodies and there is no shame around it. I saw my father on various occasions have sex with my stepmother. Sometimes it was surprising and a little uncomfortable and sometimes it was hilarious, when we, my seven siblings and I, caught them on our holidays and my little stepsister would say „Your dad is riding my mum.“ She was maybe five years old and had no clue what they were doing. We had a great laugh. Poor thing, she had just seen her mum have a good time with my dad.
Sex is all around us. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for sex. We need sex as much as we need food. Sure we can go on a diet or be asketen. But that will impact our lives. We can also go for „McDonald’s Sex“ and just get a quick fix at 4 am after clubbing all night. And we may or may not regret it afterwards. Some of us may like to go for a five course dinner and savor the delicious tastes for hours celebrating the moment with a glass of an elegant wine. Some of us maybe like it like a bit of sport in-between or after work, like a little juicy workout to get a little hit and get right back into their creative headspace. The way we have sex is as endless as the times and ways we eat. What’s clear is that we need sex. Again, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. And there is more to it.
I like to expand my understanding of sex to a much wider spectrum of best case pleasurable moments. The dark side about sex is that it is used for imposing power on others. Rape, sexual assaults, manipulation are always part of the game. The side of sex that most of us want is adding the juicy flavor of pleasure to our lives. In my understanding sex is putting my hand into the ocean and touching a sea slug under water in a natural pool filled with fresh, crystal clear ocean water. Having mind-blowing conversations through which I feel my life has shifted and I see the world through a new pair of glasses that’s definitely sex for me. Hugging someone I feel love towards and leaving no space for air in-between my body and the other body feels like sex to me as the hearts slowly merge into the comforting bliss of feeling held, love and safe. Making love to myself by using a ton of almond oil and sinking into a moment of timelessness just by myself- my hands, oil, my bluetooth speaker with my spotify playlist and my sex toys. I reach the heavens and scream for them to open their doors before my sight vanishes and I drop back on the ground with my wet body and tears running down the back of my lower legs.
My definition of sex is feeling pleasure channeling through my entire body and touching my sweet spot that says yes to life. Sex is making me feel alive, inspired and creative. Sex is nourishment for my soul through an impulse that moves my guts, heart or mind. Sex is a little tingle in my clit, a wish to taste, feel, touch, hear, move and experience it again. Sex is feeling the aliveness within me. Sex is what I always want to have very close.
Sex is my drive through life.
Sex is making love to my life when I open myself to break open and surrender. I have experienced laugh-gasms and cry-gasms. All orgasms are welcome. Sex and orgasms can be but don’t have to be related. Sex is the big heading and my experience of sex are all the subtitles underneath it. Neverending and ever-changing.
Once I believe I know what sex I want then life surprises me and shows me another kind of pleasure. Sex is a flexible matter that is forever changing its form and its container, just like water that tastes differently from country to country and adapting its form to its container. The further I expand my concept of sex the more sex I have and the more pleasure can enter my life, my body and penetrate my senses.
If you want to invite more pleasure into your life and long to spend an unforgetable time in-midst of a group of like-minded women, then come to our „Women’s Pleasure Retreats“ in Germany and Spain.
I’d love to hear from you!