Leading my spring Bodysex retreat was easeful and sweet. Not on purpose, I’ve ended up with a hot pink, gray, and yellow color theme which makes the space feel rather dreamy. Here are some of my takeaways from the weekend. 

Participating in a Bodysex Retreat is an up-leveling of one’s sovereignty and accountability to their physical body unlike almost any other practice I’ve encountered. Participating is a choosing to learn and act in respect and responsibility to self, to deepen one’s relationship with self, and support the yumminess that is claiming our presence, attention, and healing by stoking the embers of pleasure. 

“How does this body of mine want and like to be touched?” we explore. “What’s getting in the way of me just doing those things for myself?” we ask. “What was passed on to me, for better or worse, by my grandmothers and the culture at large?” we inquire.

The rituals are approachable and accessible, yet invite us into a deep relationship with our physical selves and what it means to be a creature with a body. The people who are attracted to the retreats are diverse and have different and varying reasons for signing up. And it is a brave and courageous thing to choose to do with one’s weekend.

I almost never shut up about how amazing Bodysex is and sometimes, when talking with people about it, they look at me and say something like, “I’m happy you seem to enjoy it and the work sounds impactful and healing, but it’s not for me.” Mostly though, people’s eyes get wide with interest and curiosity, and before they can censor themselves, out of their mouth tumbles something like, “I need to do that!” And then fear sneaks in and the cultural overlays of repression finds them once again and they quickly say, “But I could never do it. I mean, be naked for a whole retreat? Masturbate in front of others? Oh, I couldn’t do it.” 

The folks who attend have conjured a deep courage within themselves such that they choose their curiosity and wonderment, and maybe even their deep need for healing, over their nervousness and fear. And maybe they have even connected their participation with their desire not to pass body shame and repression to their children or the descendants in general. 

Sovereignty ended up being one of our themes this go round. And cultivated desire versus spontaneous desire, along with the realization that we can have orgasms without being in a fully aroused physical state. Something I’ve heard participants share across retreats is that while they’re capable of orgasming pretty quickly, either alone or with a partner, they frequently don’t give themselves the time to reach their full arousal. As a group we asked, how do we magnify our arousal so that we reach it fully and more often? 

To wrap up, it is an honor to lead Bodysex retreats. To create and tend the container for participants to explore, giggle, cry. To discover how deep we might go together in just two days. To steward the container such that we grownups can play and be silly is profound and meaningful work that is also play. It is my strong viewpoint that we need to regularly give ourselves the hours it takes for us to get, as an ex of mine used to say, “fuck drunk.” Sure, we need the regular release valve of a quick come. But we also need to sink into that psychedelic space of deep-time, vast arousals, and potentially a pile of orgasms. The world looks different through fuck drunk eyes. There’s no way things like fascist takeovers, grind culture, or any of the other backwards things we look out into the world and observe would be able to exist if more of us were walking around sovereignly claiming our arousal, giving and receiving more pleasure, and being accountable to that 2” x 2” organ between our legs dedicated to pleasure.

Read more posts by Forest