Written by Céline Manon
Arriving in Tenerife after a long winter at the beginning of February – I felt ready!
I felt joy and I felt honored to be able to serve the women who would show up at the Finca Anna and I had rented for 5 days to hold the first ‘Women’s Pleasure Retreat’ in 2023.
The retreat would include the Bodysex® method created by the artist and author Dr. Betty A. Dodson®.
How do you feel about your body?
How do you feel about your orgasm?
Nobody asks us these questions in the ‘real’ world.
But those are the opening questions in every Bodysex® circle on day one!
The principle of Bodysex® is to share your own experience first person. And this principle drew my heart and attention instantly to Bodysex® back when I was 24 and my journey to become a Bodysex® facilitator started.
Experience pleasure on your own terms.
This is what Bodysex® means to me.
Sitting in the circle, listening to the story of each woman – I realized once more that we all share the same stories – more or less. We are not broken, the system is.
A system that only allows for a certain body type, color and age to be tagged as beautiful.
For me body shame was instilled in me by my own family when I was a little kid. The message was: your thighs are too big! Now when I look back at pictures from that time I see a gorgeous little girl with blue eyes and blond hair – back then I thought I was disgusting. I felt disgusted!
Now I sit among women in circles naked and I learned to appreciate my body for who she is – tender, soft, curvy, very sensitive and wise.
The first day is over and I feel alive and full of energy. I have so much respect for the women who show up at our circles. These women are courageous enough to do the work of shedding all the layers of shame and to embark on a journey of self love and pleasure.
We are a group of 14 women who came from the U.S, UK, Netherlands, Switzerland, Austria and Germany.
Gential Show and Tell
Doing Genital Show and Tell in such a large group is always fun because you really get to see a variety of vulvas. Anna starts the ritual by introducing her vulva Ona to the group. As leaders we always go first. I am next. Opening my legs and showing my vulva to a circle of women feels normal for me now but at the same time it’s still special because every group is different.
We encourage the women to come really close and make themselves comfortable since we will be spending the whole afternoon looking at our vulvas.
I have long inner lips that have the shape of a heart when I open them up and my clitoris is hooded. It’s a vulva style lots of women feel shame about.
With this ritual I take ownership and pride in my vulva Pixie and the women witness me.
As each woman takes her seat next to Anna and opens her legs to see herself in the mirror and to find the anatomical landmarks I can feel the nervousness of the group disappearing. These women are becoming sisters. I smile.
The afternoon moves along and we share smiles, cheers, tears and joy. Betty used to tell us that she never gets tired of watching vulvas since they are all unique – like faces they all have their own beauty.
We end the circle with a vulva massage. I take my mirror and place it right between my legs to see my beautiful Vulva ‘Pixie’. I put some almond oil on my fingers and started touching her with light strokes. This practice is not about reaching an orgasm – it is about feeling into our bodies and creating a connection between our brain, hands and our vulvas.
Before I go to bed this evening I feel slightly nervous because I will lead the next day: erotic recess.
I wake up in the middle of the night – still nervous. I can hear Betty’s voice in my head – have an orgasm. I start with breathing and rocking my body – I touch my heart and my vulva to get a connection to my body away from my head and my thoughts. I lose track of time and enjoy the ripples of pleasure in my body. In that moment the wind rips open our door – how symbolic.
My nervousness is gone. Out the door.
Replaced by trust in Betty’s work and trust in my ability to lead the group today. I fall back to sleep until the morning.
This time Beatrice and I are preparing the room for the women. As I take my place in the circle, I feel calm, confident and excited.
I choose to open the circle with a naked dance. Lizzo is perfect for this! I move and shake my body and so are the women. I see smiling faces, I see happiness and comfort. It always amazes me how happy everyone is to get naked after the first sharing circle.
After a brief sharing circle and a vulva massage; Anna, Beatrice and I are moving into the middle of the circle to demonstrate and explain Betty Dodsons Rock’n’Roll method. We answer questions and go through the motions of breathing, moving our bodies and using our voice.
Next up is the chakra massage with the vibrator to get used to the vibrations and the different mods on the vibes. We are all standing in a circle and I can see the energy building up. I guide the group through different positions with the vibe and slowly moving toward the ground.
I choose tribal music for this part of the workshop because it awakens this raw female energy that is closed up in each of us. Now we are kneeling above our vibes and riding (rocking and rolling) them like witches would ride their brooms. I like that image and a smile is on my face. Slowly I guide the group into the Rock’n’Roll position – I breathe with them and talk them through the motions.
My body is filling up with sexual energy. I feel it rising from my feet up toward my crown chakra. I can feel – Ecstasy is possible.
I continue to support the group to reach for their Barbells and slowly start to play with the dildo that Betty Dodson® designed.
Erotic Recess is masturbating in a group and so much more. The group gives us permission to spend 2 hours in self pleasure. We are among other pleasure seekers and we are in our own universe. After a while a ripple effect happens. One orgasm subsides and another woman is right in front of one, and yet another one is in the middle of one. It inspires me to keep on going.
In this circle I have three orgasms. They are not super intense, more like waves washing over my body, releasing the tension that has built up over the last few days.
This time ecstasy doesn’t happen for me and that’s ok – I am too much in my head. Too busy with the next tasks and that is ok. Each orgasm is different and there is no way to predict what kind of orgasm you will experience. The only thing you can do is to practice regularly to keep that juicy energy at flow.
I joined the group in the middle of the circle who started snacking and talking. Everyone looks relaxed and their faces are glowing. One woman shares that she had six orgasms. We celebrate her. Ecstasy is possible in the safer space that a Bodysex® circle creates. Some go back for another round – it’s beautiful to witness these women who were strangers a few days back being so relaxed and happy. They share stories, laugh, and support each other – this is what makes Bodysex® so special – it creates community – a sisterhood.
The last ritual of a Bodysex® circle is group massage. We divide the women into 3 groups and they share no sexual – grounding touch with each other.
Anna, Beatrice and I sit together, keep the time and enjoy witnessing the abundance around us.
My mentor Carlin Ross always says, ‘Bodysex® ruined me for normal friendships.’ And I get it. Who wants to engage in small talk if you can have orgasms, strawberries and chocolate together.