Pubic hair, much like sex, is a conversation often reserved for moments of deep trust and vulnerability. And it is strange that since I remember we have never spoken about it at home, although I thought we could talk about everything with my mum (well, everything except sex, pubic hair, and sexual life…). Only after so many years, I do realize how much the influence of societal norms, religious upbringing, and parental guidance is shaping the boundaries around our intimacy, feeling safe in our body and with our sexuality. Now I can see, that although I felt safe as a child to talk with my mum about many things, sexuality and pubic hair was not belonging to this framework.
So, as my home was not a source of information for this topic, I was self-educating beyond the walls of my home. I realized that choices in our youth are often shaped by external factors, steering us in directions we may not consciously choose.
I was observing what was trendy when I was a teenager. In the year 2000, hair removal was starting to take its picks. Having hair on your legs or in intimate areas was definitely not trendy, and all young girls started to remove it, whatever the way.
Of course, I wanted to be like other girls, so I followed the pattern. Pain, however, emerged as a big barrier for me. While legs were easily tackled with a wet shaver, navigating the realm of Yoni hair remained a challenge for me. I remember being maybe 17, I tried to use normal scissors, but it has not done a good job of course… shaving wet was also not working well…. So what was working for me at that time, was just to use a wet shaver and shave the hair that was stuck out from under my pant. Oddly, conversations with friends about pubic hair remained absent, possibly influenced by our Catholic education.
As my adult life unfolded and sexuality became a constant companion, the question of pubic hair persisted. I started to have concerns about my smell: maybe my smell was not nice when my partner kissed my Yoni, or maybe my pubic hair was disturbing him while we had sex. At that time, wax and laser dominated the trend agenda, so I decided I had to try one of them. Wax was a more common option at that time, so I went to my favorite beauty salon and asked to have my pubic hair waxed.
Oh my God – this was one of the most terrible experiences I’ve ever had!!
Each time she removed the wax from my Yoni, I experienced excruciating pain. I felt hot flashes and sweat as if thousands of needles were piercing my skin and running through my body. It was akin to sitting on a torture chair, and every minute seemed to stretch into eternity. After completing the waxing session, my Yoni was left all red, despite applying some oil, and the discomfort lingered for the next few hours.
While Seated In That Chair, A Thought Crossed My Mind: Why Do Women Endure This Painful Experience?
What drives them to suffer so intensely? Surely, they must feel the same pain I experienced during the waxing process, right? So, why to subject oneself to such a suffering? That moment served as a turning point for me. That was enough, I said to myself: “it was my first and the last time I went through such torture, and I will never do it again! I do not give a shit what others think, this is not worth the effort. I couldn’t care less.”
On top of this, I did not like the way my Yoni looked after waxing… She felt exposed, like the innocence of a small girl’s anatomy was stolen away. Now I knew that my pussy likes to be hairy, at least a little bit.
A little later a friend introduced me to electric trimmers for intimate body parts, revolutionizing my grooming routine. She said this tool is great and does not hurt at all (hurra!!!). I can choose the length and style of hair the way I like it. That was a real discovery for me.
Since I bought that trimmer, me and my pussy were happy.
We could shave without pain and still leave some hair as we like. This is a method that stands strong to this day for me.
When I look back and analyze my journey on pubic hair, there is an interesting insight and parallel I have observed. As my sexual maturity deepens, so does my acceptance of myself and my body, resulting in a greater presence of pubic hair.
I Remember My First Tantra Workshop In The South Of France.
Our Tantric teacher came with a beautifully hairy pussy, and I was so surprised. I have noticed that many tantric women embraced their natural state, mirroring the theme of accepting oneself fully. Today, as I mature in my sexuality, self-confidence drives my choices, enabling me to resist external trends and embrace my inner truth and beauty. As I continue to mature in my understanding of sexuality, my self-confidence grows, and the choices I make regarding my appearance are increasingly driven by an internal compass. With greater courage to resist external trends, I can embrace my inner truth and beauty. I strive to be the woman I’ve chosen to become, radiating beauty that emanates from within.
So today, I prefer to have a hairy pussy, particularly at the mount of Venus, just above the pubic bone. Occasionally, I use my trimmer to give it a specific hairstyle and trim a small portion of my outer labia, especially during my period or on hot days in the summer.
I find pubic hair to be sexy, and having it makes me feel more beautiful. I enjoy occasionally playing with it and massaging it with coconut oil, enhancing my aroma. Today, I acknowledge that my sexual scent embodies the essence of my sexuality and defines the woman I am.
In Tao hair is revered as a carrier of energy and a connection to the divine and in Tantra it is part of our nature. Today, I choose natural beauty, forging a connection with the divine and my sexuality. Trends no longer dictate my choices; It does not matter, not anymore, not for me.
My partner adores my hairy pussy; he loves its scent and says that a hairy pussy turns him on a hundred times more than a shaved one. Even if he didn’t appreciate it, he would still need to accept it as per my preference.
So what I would like to say to my younger self today is this:
“Your pubic hair is beautiful; it embodies the essence of your sexuality, power, protection, and feminine beauty. Love them, care for them, and do only what feels right to YOU. Disregard trends, ignore others’ opinions, and don’t be concerned with what others are doing. Never ever undergo any beauty procedure, especially if it’s painful, for the sake of others. Always choose yourself.”
P.S. : Having traversed various countries, I’ve observed cultural differences in approaching nudity and pubic hair. From the laser-focused Dutch to the predominantly shaved Germans, each culture has its unique stance. Poland sits somewhere in between, reflecting a diverse range of preferences. Traveling south opens a greater acceptance of natural beauty in countries like France, Spain, and Portugal. It’s fascinating to explore how different cultures shape perspectives on pubic hair.
It’s intriguing to discover which culture you belong to and how they approach the topic of pubic hair.
