We thought we’d be celebrating the first Madame President but instead we packed up and headed out for Bodysex with heavy hearts.  As my flight took off, I thought about how I would open the workshop.  I feared that the election may create tension between the women. Bodysex is about connection…healing…transformation.  There’s no room for politics.

It felt right that we’d pared back Bodysex, moving on from the immersive 4-day retreat and going back to basics, back to how Betty and I ran workshops for over a decade.  We decided on Cleveland since Laura has all the back jacks and vulva mirrors – and she’d found a good location: our own building – three floors – in downtown Cleveland close to museums, restaurants and the airport. The space looked good in pictures but I worried it wouldn’t be warm enough or wouldn’t be beautiful.  Betty’s apartment was like a womb: a big square room with three exposures on the 12th floor.  It felt like a hug.  Would the space feel right?

It exceeded my expectations: there was a ton of natural light, exposed brick walls, hard wood floors and an open floor plan.  It was stunning. More importantly, we could do all the rituals in one space just like Betty’s. As our assistants arrived, it felt like family coming home.  We hugged and shared stories and ordered Chinese.  I always say Bodysex ruins you for other friendships.  The connection you share with Bodysex women is so deep, so meaningful that everything else falls short. We opened the weekend with our own erotic recess and saged the space with our orgasm energy.

As the women arrived the next morning, you could feel their unease.  It felt like we were all waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I opened the circle by saying, “here there is no red or blue, there is only love.” You could see shoulders relax and faces lighten.  We were all women first.  

We went around the circle for group shares – it felt just like Betty’s.  Then we moved on to genital show and tell. This is always the bonding moment between the women. I went first, then each woman sat next to me and we looked together at her vulva in the mirror. In these moments, I am my best.  I never think about what to say, it all comes intuitively.  Betty taught me that everything flows from self-love. When you know and accept yourself, you are present in every moment.  All you feel is compassion and understanding.  

There was a woman working through deep trauma.  As she sat next to me, tears rolled down her face. I put my arm around her and said, “you are in control.  This is your choice”.  Then another woman added, “and you don’t have to do this”.  Immediately, her back stiffened, the tears stopped and she announced, “I didn’t come all this way NOT to do this”.  Rarely do we witness such moments of courage. 

This is the brilliance of Bodysex.  You are guided through rituals that challenge you to go within.  We support you but you walk through the door.  Everything you need is inside you. 

Erotic recess took on a different energy.  We were all there to heal, to feel something other than fear.  As the orgasms broke out, I found myself feeling lighter.  The sounds of women experiencing pleasure soothes your soul; we were bathed in sounds of joy. 

Those first orgasms grounded the circle.  Then I moved to the women who needed support to connect to pleasure.  This is another moment where I am my best.  The right words, the right guidance, the right technique flow from me.  There is no thought.  I see and feel and know.  It’s muscle memory from assisting Betty for over a decade, watching thousands of women build up to orgasm, and knowing that orgasm is a reflex. 

I was so proud of our assistants.  While I was working one-on-one, they knew to keep going and share their sex energy to help the women break through their resistance.  One participant had assistants on either side of her and, when they were all building up, you could feel this wave of energy coming towards you.  She got to the full body orgasm because she was supported. That is Bodysex.

During the weekend, I found myself smiling again.  Everything felt possible.  As the women were doing group massage, I looked out at this powerful image of women appreciating other women. I thought to myself, “they can’t touch this.  You’ll never keep women down.  The future is our own”. 

It was a beautiful weekend. I didn’t realize how much I missed Bodysex.  Thank you to our participants for the trust.  Thank you, Laura, for finding the space and pushing me back to the circle. And thank you to our assistants – Lakota, Esther, Emma, Rachel and Kaylea – for continuing Betty’s legacy. 

Carlin was Betty’s business partner for 10 years.

She is the “keeper of all things Betty Dodson.”

Read more posts by Carlin