Self pleasure has waxed and waned over my life time; however, it has always remained essential to my well being.

As a child, pleasure seemed so simple, natural and abundant. As I reflect, pleasure was all about physical movement and tactile sensations. I loved my buzzy blanket, silky cool water on my skin and the sensation of weightlessness as I spent hours floating in the pool.  One of my favourite memories is drinking cold creamy chocolate milk on a hot summer’s day. Aw, these memories fill my heart with warm fuzzies.

As I moved into my teen years, l felt the pressure to not screw up my life and to be responsible. It felt like the beginning of pleasure being a luxury, something I did when all the other things I had to do was done. Yet, I am grateful as I reflect on my curious 13-year-old self that stayed up late to watch French blue movies & read Hustler/Playboy magazines and her excitement of doing something forbidden. I smile and am glad she had these moments of self exploration. It all seems so vanilla now, however, these early years of self pleasuring served me well to connect and enjoy my body, relieve tension and give me a certain joie de vivre as it still does today.

I was 26 years old and a first-year nursing student when I heard the phrase “delaying gratification” OMG, that concept was so insanely foreign because I intuitively delay gratification. Isn’t that what all successful people do?  Truth be told, my propensity is towards driving myself to obtain a goal. No quarter given and no quarter asked, even if it meant a migraine headache.  So, I had to become deliberate and commit to choosing moments of pleasure in my life. This included masturbation, which is a great tool to release stress and bathe in pleasure. I remember a male friend of mine who actually wrote a paper about when and why students masturbate. Students reported masturbating before exams, and other high periods of high stress. Yup, nothing like a killer orgasm to relieve stress.

 I am laughing as I write this, of how far I have come (pun intended) that now I think of delayed gratification as edging. I take my vibrator, lots of almond oil and a favourite dildo, and start with well lubed up hands and caress my vulva and all her pleasure spots. I am my own best lover; offering slow sensual touch. The only goal is my preferential pleasure. In support of my bodily pleasure my mind congers up erotic delights. Oh, then there it is – the first wave of orgasm, oh so tempting to tense and chase the orgasm, however, Betty’s rock n roll method allows me to let the sex energy intensify and build (delaying gratification/edging) until the orgasm comes to me. And she will come. It is a pleasure to come from the place of abundance, that I know that I know if I touch myself the right way for long enough, I will have an orgasm because my body is designed for pleasure.

I have to remember to remember to make pleasure a priority; from scheduling my self pleasure time, to stopping and admiring the wildflowers, pausing and appreciating all the shades of blue the sky has to offer. Or those moments when I am skate skiing and I feel like I am flying or enjoying that moment when I slide between my cool bamboo sheets; I pause, and I notice for that moment just how delicious life is.

Making pleasure a priority!

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