I was disconnected from my body and orgasm for many years in my adult life.

I knew what an orgasm felt like but had forgotten its significance. As a single mother with sole custody and no financial support, life became about surviving and certainly nothing about thriving.

There were periods during that time when I was sexually active/dating someone and had the opportunity to tap into that potential again, and it was good, and fun; but typically once the relationship ended, so did the connection to my body and orgasm. As if I only deemed it a priority when I had to for someone else’s benefit and having nothing to do with my own.

I often think back on that time, knowing what I know now about how alive and fulfilled I am by taking care of myself in this way; it was probably the one thing I needed most but was too buried in grief and loneliness to notice what could have pulled me out.

It took the Bodysex workshop I attended a couple of years ago to make me recognize this self-sabotage of neglect I was causing. Even after I had become more financially stable and in a deep and loving relationship with my now husband who became a second parent to my son — all of this lifting so much burden and yet, I remained stuck without honoring and recognizing the divine feminine within and her need for the purest pleasure. After taking the workshop, I promised myself to never neglect my body again and have been masturbating *daily since (*there is an occasional day or two where I skip for one reason or another but other days, I will masturbate more than once so I would say it averages out).

By keeping this ritual, I find myself more at peace in all aspects of my life. Even times when I am challenged by others and their “stuff,” I find myself more sympathetically understanding where they are coming from and how they would benefit from learning and practicing their body’s pleasure, as well. I think it’s a huge part of why becoming a facilitator feels like such a calling for me. I know what it’s like to be drowning in life and I know I have the skills to share how a woman can help save herself.

My only period of time since the Bodysex workshop that I wasn’t able to masturbate was after a surgery last year. As soon as I could, though, I was right back in practice. I wasn’t able to lie flat on my back for several weeks but once I could, I got creative with two full-length body pillows squished together to make a nest for myself that kept the pressure/weight off. I truly believe by doing so and giving my body whatever extended time needed to relax enough into orgasm, the practice itself helped me recover faster. I never revealed to the surgeon what my secret was but at my follow up appointments, he repeated more than once, “Whatever you are doing, keep doing it.” And I do!

Naomi is currently in training as a Bodysex Coach

Read more posts by Naomi Ruth