Reflection after our most-recent Bodysex circle brought me to one word: rebirth.
Sitting in the circle again after two and a half years felt like coming home. This was our first in-person workshop since before the pandemic and since before Betty left the planet. As I sat ready to start the first part of the workshop with our opening questions, I felt the emotion of this moment in my heart, the joy of being together after a long absence. As I looked at the faces of the women around the circle, my eyes welled up with tears of gratitude.
On day one, I didn’t know most of the women in this circle, but that really didn’t matter at all. We all shared the experience of growing up as a girl and living as a woman in a sexually repressed society. We are all on a journey to find a better way to be in our bodies and experience sexual pleasure. I was impressed by the courage and resilience of each and every woman as we took turns around the circle to speak our truth. Bodysex attracts amazing women.
Genital Show and Tell is one of my favorite Bodysex rituals. It’s a beautiful gift to see what is usually hidden away because of socially imposed modesty. Being witnessed is truly liberating. Each vulva seemed to bloom before our eyes at it relaxed in the view of admiration. Every vulva was uniquely magnificent, with a variety of pubic hair styles, labia styles, clits, vaginal openings, and colors. Any hesitancy at the start of sharing turned into joy for each participant. Everyone looked so happy and relaxed afterwards.
The retreat format for this workshop provided additional time to include the Vulva Massage ritual. Our goal was not to orgasm, but to explore pleasure and arousal. Each of us had a mirror to view our ourselves as we massaged our genitals. Carlin suggested different techniques to explore using our hands and fingers while we experienced what kind of touch brings pleasure. Being able to see our vulvas change color and puff up showed tangible evidence of arousal. I felt completely relaxed, so much so that I began to doze off with my hand hugging my vulva. I thought of Betty saying that she liked to give herself a vulva massage at bedtime. It’s a perfect way to relax. Touching yourself isn’t always about orgasm. It’s about self-connection too.
We began day two with a nude photo shoot. We ended up outdoors in a beautiful courtyard just outside our workshop space. The light and shadows were perfect. We were all at least half naked, taking pictures of each other for our own personal remembrance. Just like our vulvas, every single body was beautiful and unique. The range of skin colors, breasts, butts, tummies, legs, and arms in a group of real bodies was exquisite and inspiring. Seeing the beauty in a range of naked bodies helped me find the beauty and comfort in my own body. There was no competition or criticism. Only acceptance and happiness. Being naked seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
The afternoon was devoted to our self-exploration of pleasure. Carlin started us out on our feet, moving our hips so that the vibrator would touch our genitals. We could see one another being sexual in our bodies. There was no shame, only playfulness and laughter. At one point, I commented that I felt like a witch riding her broomstick.
We progressed on to practicing the pillow fuck, which can be quite arousing. Then on to the Goddess style with my feet holding the vibrator positioned on my vulva. It’s always one of my favorite positions. Carlin talked us through the steps of Betty’s Rock n’ Roll technique. Then we were on our own for Erotic Recess. For me, orgasm didn’t come quickly or easily. I couldn’t get a comfortable spot and I felt too much in my head. But when I heard the women on either side of me vocalize their orgasms, my body took over and I felt my own peak of pleasure. The primal sounds of women in the circle are inspiring.
After my orgasm, I supported other women who asked for coaching. I always feel honored to hold this space for another woman. I watch her body, report what I see, and encourage her to trust their experience and relax into it. It’s learning how to focus on the feelings of pleasure in the moment rather than chase the orgasm as a goal. “Let the orgasm come to you” is one of Carlin’s best pieces of wisdom. It seems so simple, yet it’s hard to do when we put pressure and expectation on ourselves.
During our closing circle, I was struck by how the face of each and every woman had changed from our opening circle. Everyone looked so much more relaxed, confident, and happy. Words spoken during our final share included “joyful”, “liberated”, and “grateful.” What a difference from just 48 hours ago. Self-love and independent orgasm are truly empowering. Thank you, Betty Dodson.
This workshop retreat marks the rebirth of Bodysex after the pandemic and without Betty. It was a success. Carlin has taken the helm and is moving Bodysex into the future. We’ve found our new home in the beautiful space at Menla. We’re finding ways to accommodate larger circles while keeping intimate connection. Bodysex will continue. Thank you, Carlin Ross.
I feel reborn. The pandemic gave me the opportunity to deepen my connection with myself. This in-person Bodysex circle gave me the opportunity to deeply connect with other women in a way that I haven’t since early 2020. I am rejuvenated. Thank you to all of the amazing women in our circle.
With love and gratitude,
Laura
