I get crabby sometimes. Really crabby. There, I said it!
I can feel myself becoming impatient, irritated, and just not quite myself. My light starts to dim, and I don’t like that feeling.
Over time, I’ve discovered something about myself that I wish more women felt comfortable talking about.
My orgasms help me maintain my light.
They help me feel calmer, happier, more relaxed, and connected to my body. And I’m not embarrassed to admit it.
For me, an orgasm is so much more than a few moments of physical pleasure. It’s an opportunity to connect with my body, let go of everything happening around me, and focus entirely on myself.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what I need.
My Body Deserves My Attention
Like so many women, I’ve spent much of my life taking care of other people. Being a wife, a mother, working, managing responsibilities, and making sure everyone else was okay.
But somewhere along the way, I realized that my body deserved that same attention.
Not because something was wrong with it. Not because I needed to change it or improve it.
Simply because it’s mine, and it deserves to feel good.
I’ve learned to appreciate my body in ways I never imagined when I was younger.
I’ve become curious about what brings me pleasure, what sensations I enjoy, and how my body responds when I give it my undivided attention.
And that curiosity has opened up an entirely different relationship with myself.
The Power of My Own Orgasm
When I make time for self-pleasure, I’m not thinking about the laundry, what needs to get done tomorrow, or what someone else needs from me.
I’m paying attention to my body.
My breathing changes. My muscles begin to relax. I become aware of sensations that I might otherwise rush right past.
And when I experience an orgasm, I feel that incredible release.
Sometimes it’s powerful and intense. Other times it’s softer and more gradual.
But what I especially appreciate is how I feel afterward.
The tension eases. My mind feels quieter. My mood shifts.
I feel lighter.
It’s as though I’ve given myself permission to set everything else aside and simply enjoy being in my body.
And I love that feeling.
Yes, My Husband Encourages It!
One of the things I appreciate about my husband is that he supports my relationship with my own pleasure.
He knows how important it is to me, and he encourages it.
I think that’s pretty wonderful!
My self-pleasure doesn’t take anything away from our relationship. If anything, being comfortable with my own body allows me to bring more of myself into our intimacy.
I know what I enjoy. I’m more comfortable expressing what I want, and I don’t expect him to be responsible for every aspect of my pleasure.
My orgasms belong to me, whether I experience them alone or with my husband.
And there’s something incredibly empowering about that.
Why Aren’t We Talking About This?
We talk about exercise, meditation, getting enough sleep, eating well, and finding ways to manage stress.
But mention masturbation or orgasms, and suddenly people get uncomfortable.
Why?
Why should women feel embarrassed about something their bodies are naturally capable of experiencing?
Why do so many women spend years putting their own pleasure last?
And why are we so hesitant to acknowledge that sexual pleasure can be an important part of our overall well-being?
I’m not suggesting that an orgasm solves every problem. Believe me, I still have my crabby days!
But I’ve discovered that making time for my own pleasure can make a meaningful difference in how I feel.
And I think that’s worth talking about.
Finding My Light Again
When I talk about maintaining my light, I’m talking about that part of me that feels happy, playful, confident, and alive.
The woman who laughs easily, enjoys affection, feels comfortable in her body, and looks forward to experiencing life.
I love that woman.
And when stress, frustration, or everyday responsibilities start to dim that light, I want to pay attention.
Sometimes what I need is a walk, a conversation, or a little time alone.
And sometimes what I need is an orgasm!
I’m no longer interested in pretending that my sexual pleasure isn’t important.
It is important.
It helps me appreciate my body, recognize what I need, and remember that pleasure doesn’t have to depend on anyone else.
And perhaps most importantly, it reminds me that my body isn’t simply something I live in.
It’s something I get to experience, explore, appreciate, and enjoy.
What About You?

Susan
South Dakota
Read Articles by Susan
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