As I packed my bags for our upcoming workshop, there was a certain heaviness that I couldn’t shake. Usually, I feel excited to meet the women and get a change in scenery.  However, our new normal is crisis and chaos – unknown actors and undefinable risk.  How would it feel in the circle?  

Four of the women coming to Cleveland were Canadian.  They were worried about being turned back or detained for weeks – and rightfully so.  Our advice: if asked, you’re heading to a girl’s weekend and keep your phone turned off.  They can’t make you turn on your phone.  

As a former civil rights attorney, I couldn’t believe that these admonitions came out of my mouth.  I mourn the loss of the American jurisprudence I vowed to defend.  

Going through security at the airport broke my heart. I found myself welling up with tears as I placed my belongings in bins – flatscreens running loops of Kristi Noem overhead  – I didn’t recognize this world. They made me go through security twice (two women signed up last minute so I had to bring barbells in my luggage).  I used the girl’s weekend line and it worked like a charm.  

On top of everything, I was flying out of Newark in the middle of all the air traffic chaos.  There were delays, cancellations, hours on the tarmac but I made it to Cleveland in one piece – Bodysex was alive and well.  

As Laura and I set up the space, the energy felt like Betty’s.  In silence, we prepared the circle honoring the women who would join us in a few hours.  I found myself feeling at ease and ready for connection.  When they arrived, instead of introductions, I moved in with a hug.  All our Canadians arrived unscathed. 

The opening shares were profound.  These women had survived real trauma and half were pre-orgasmic. We had a large group so genital show and tell went on for two hours.  There was one moment of transformation that I’ll never forget.  With liberation and self-acceptance, comes the truth.  It is always an honor to hold the space.  

That evening, as I lay in bed, I felt nervous about erotic recess and whether the women would connect to orgasm.  I didn’t want to fail them.  I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and remembered what Betty always said, “the goddess will provide”.  And she did.

We opened the circle with a share.  I’d just read a story about bonobo monkeys: how, in the face of male aggression, the females form a circle.  They protect each other by forming a group. That was Bodysex; in the circle we are safe.  

Working with Laura is a dream.  There is joy and patience and fun.  I worked one-on-one with women as she kept the group orgasming during erotic recess.  Every woman connected to her orgasm.  And we had a first.  While I was supporting a woman, two participants sat on either side, holding her hand when she asked, breathing together, and meeting her energy. It was a beautiful experience of unity and kindness and love.  Women are remarkable.

For 12 hours, I didn’t check my phone or even think about the world outside the circle.  It was as healing for me as it was for the women.  Somehow, we went deeper. Bodysex is this ever expanding healing force that meets the needs we don’t even know we have….thank you, Betty Dodson, for having the courage and the generosity to share this gift with me and the world.

Early in our partnership, Betty announced, “I’ll run groups for as long as I can get up and down off the floor”.  I feel the same way and Laura agrees: we’ll run groups for as long as women register and show up.  We have another workshop scheduled for November 8/9 – the goddess provides.

Carlin had the honor of working with Betty Dodson for 13 years and seeing her off the planet.

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